Friday Fiction: Once in a Lifetime

A new sporadic feature that will last until I run out of short bits of fiction to post.  Enjoy.

This particular piece is from a writing assignment where I had to squeeze everything onto one page without shrinking the font past 12.  

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Sammy sat down at the table, “check out this awesome reaction table I found online!”

Grabbing it from his hands, Riannon skimmed it and replied, “yeah, because spontaneously combusting is always the perfect reaction.”  

“Agreed, that last table gets a little weird, but what are the odds I’ll roll 00 three times in a row to get that result?” said Sammy as he dumped dice out of a purple Crown Royal bag.

“Well,” started Helena, the gamemaster, “roughly speaking, I’d say 00 three times in a row is a once in a lifetime event.  Now if we’re done with math, there is a game to play.”

“Fine.  Let’s play,” started Sammy, “but I am using this table.”  Many games and dice rolls later, Sammy’s character is mostly triumphant, but certainly still alive.  “I told you guys this reaction table was awesome! Because of it, my Wulfgar is now king of the realm!”

Rolling her eyes, Riannon said, “if only real life worked that way, huh? Roll some dice, check that table, and watch great things happen.”

On an alcohol-inspired lark, Sammy decided to let the table’s results dictate his actions that weekend.  It resulted in both a windfall and a bedmate; this encouraged Sammy.  At parties, people suspected he was slipping off to do lines in the bathroom, but in reality, he was dicing for his next actions.  Over time, Sammy diced for everything.  

Decades later, Sammy was in the restroom of an upscale Steak House, dicing for a business deal.  00 on the first roll sent him to Table B.  Another throw, another 00.  “Shit,” Sammy thought, “the last time I rolled on Table C, I got divorced.”

The arson investigators were puzzled to find the Steak House fire started in the men’s room.  Smoking boots in front of the mirror, charred paper in the sink, and a pair of sooty dice on the counter reading 00 baffled them.