2022 Character Creation Challenge - Day 16

I learned a new way to name wizardly sorts: take a commercial drug and add an epithet tied to what the drug does.  Examples include Viagra the Aroused and Adderall the Focused.  

So I want to try that out with today's character challenge.  AD&D and Method I should net me something with decent Intelligence and Dexterity scores.  12, 10, 11, 13, 10, 15 is strike one.  9, 11, 12, 8, 8, 9 is strike two.  6, 12, 9, 15, 13, 14 is strike three.  Sunovabitch.

16, 6, 7, 9, 9, 16 - these virtual dice suck, but it's the first of four sets that meets the 'two 15s' recommendation. I'll randomize this magic-user's level, though: d4+1 works.

Rebecca Guay, Auramancer, WotC 2018

Vyvanse the Calm, Human Magic-User 3

S 6 -  -1 to hit, -150 weight allowance, open doors 1, bend bars/lift gates 0%

I 16 - 5 possible additional languages, can know 8th level spells, 65% to know new spells, 7/11 min/max spells per level

W 9 - none

D 16 - +1 reaction/attacking adjustment, -2 defensive adjustment

C 7 - system shock survival 55%, resurrection survival 60%

Ch 9 - 4 maximum henchmen

Current XP: 6,550        XP required to level: 22,501

HP 10

AC 8

Languages Known: Common, Elf, Giant

Spells Known:

1st- Detect Magic, Feather Fall, Identify, Read Magic, Sleep, Unseen Servant

2nd- Invisibility

Equipment: Ring of Warning, robes, staff, dagger, adventuring gear

Habits: Vyvanse is well aware of her fragility and acts accordingly.  She adventures rather than remains safely in academia because she foolishly prioritized mastering her subjects over making the right connections while at college (7).  Vyvanse will not adventure alone, preferring to go along with several stout fighter sorts to protect her.

Goals: Survive into middle age.  Discover/create magics that enhance her health or increase her survivability.  Lichdom is not off the table.

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Another kind DM granting 5 starting spells (DMG p39), the bonus being a miscellaneous spell.  

The Academic Failure background came from this list at Against the Wicked City.  

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Ring of Warning - this golden band pulses when trouble is near; meaning that its wearer cannot be surprised.  In addition, the wearer can use it to cast Augury once per day, with 90% accuracy and no other material components necessary - just concentration.  In this case, the Ring of Warning heats up for Weal and freezes for Woe.

2022 Character Creation Challenge - Day 15

Zounds! 

I almost forgot to write up today's PC!  My plan is to finish out the various '70s and '80s bands as AD&D characters this month, and today is a fine day for another such being.  Since some names fit specific classes better than others, I'll be making use of Method V to ensure I roll up the PC I want to stat up, in this case, a monk.

Method V is almost necessary given the stringent requirements to qualify as a monk: Strength 15, Wisdom 15, Dexterity 15, and Constitution 11.  At least monks automatically meet the PHB recommendation of at least two abilities of 15 or higher.  Monks have no chance for bonus xp, however, no matter how high stats may be.

Ye olde standby table from UA

David Carradine in his role in the TV series Kung-Fu, which I suspect had a large impact on this class.

Iron Butterfly, Superior Master - LN Human Monk 7

S 15 - +200 Weight, Open Doors 1-2, Bend Bars/Lift Gates 7%

I 15 - 4 possible additional languages

W 16 - +2 Magical Attack Adjustment

D 17 - +2 Reaction/Attacking Adjustment, -3 Defensive Adjustment

C 12 - System Shock Survival - 80%, Resurrection Survival - 85%

Ch 14 - 6 henchmen total, +5% Loyalty Base, +10% Reaction Adjustment

Current XP: 111,500         XP until next level: 200,001

HP: 18

AC: 5 and Dex, so 2

Languages Known: Common, Draconic, Elf, 

Class Limitations: must be Lawful; no armor allowed; 2 magic weapons, 3 magic others at any time; limited wealth - surplus MUST go to a religious institution; only specific weapons, rings, and miscellaneous magic allowed; no Strength hit/damage bonuses

Class Skills: chance to stun per open hand hit; chance to kill per open hand hit; deflect nonmagical missiles; saves vs damage = 0 damage; 22% chance to be surprised; thief skills (see below) as thief of same level; can fall 30' with no damage if within 4' of a wall; speak with animals (as druid); mask mind from ESP - ESP works 24% of time; immune to disease and haste/slow spells; feign death (14 turns); heal self d4+1 1/day; monk move 21/rd; monk open hand attacks 3/2 rds; monk open hand damage 2d4+1

Open Locks: 52%    

Find/Remove Traps:  50%    

Move Silently: 55%    

Hide in Shadows: 43%   

Hear Noise: 25%    

Climb Walls: 94%

Equipment: robes, tattoos, adventurer's kit, Wraps of the Master.

Goals: to find the Garden of Edah, wherein dwells one of the Masters of Dragons (Red, Green, or White), in order to defeat him/her and become the Master of Dragons himself; keep ally Mott the Hoople from doing anything too stupid; travel the world dispensing justice as needed.

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Wraps of the Master: these fist wraps are of white cloth with runes of silvered thread running along them.  These wraps cover the palms, fingers, and the wrists of the wearer.  These wraps allow the wearer to strike beings that require magic to hit, and also provide negative plane protection so that undead can be punched with impunity.

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Observation: as punishment for rolling up high stats, a player has to record lots of stuff on their character sheet.  Seems fair.  

I like how Monks (and Druids) have to seek out and challenge higher-level Monks (and Druids) in order to level up.  I haven't actually played through this process, but I imagine it is a whole new dynamic, one that could make games quite entertaining if applied across the board as a house rule.  

The magic item restrictions make sense, given the vague idea of monks holding vows of poverty.  I wonder if this is a proto-attunement thing, for the 5e readers among my three regulars.

2022 Character Creation Challenge - Day 14

Comfort food for dinner makes me crave a comfortable ruleset to generate a PC for.  AD&D it is.

For completion's sake (and a love of rolling dice), I'll be using Method IV: 3d6 are rolled sufficient times to generate the 6 ability scores, in order, for 12 characters.  The player then selects the single set of scores they find most desirable.

That's a lot of dice! Let's get rolling...

1. 10, 14, 10, 9, 7, 8
2. 9, 13, 12, 8, 5, 8
3. 7, 17, 8, 10, 16, 8
4. 13, 15, 9, 10, 14, 6
5. 9, 9, 10, 9, 11, 11
6. 12, 15, 11, 9, 12, 14
7. 5, 9, 12, 12, 16, 4
8. 14, 16, 13, 10, 8, 15
9. 9, 8, 7, 13, 13, 17
10. 18, 11, 10, 8, 13, 8
11. 10, 14, 7, 6, 12, 14
12. 8, 8, 15, 8, 8, 15

The easy choices are what not to choose. If I adhere to the PHB admonition about two or more scores above 15 (bolded), then my choices are really limited, which is a shame, because there are several appealing options, otherwise.

#3 is a tough magic-user, with #4, #6, and #8 being lesser magic-users, #10 is a fighter (18/57), #12 is a cleric - wise and charismatic.

I haven't rolled up a cleric yet, so I think that is tonight's choice.  And with the right companions, this cleric might survive to mid-level and a small temple of their own.

Daybreak Chaplain, by Volkan Baga, WotC 2019

Sister Francesca 

S 8 Open Doors 1-2, Bend Bars/Lift Gates 1%
I 8 1 additional language
W 15 +1 magical attack adjustment, 2 bonus 1st level, 1 bonus 2nd level spells
D 8 none
C 8 System Shock Survival 60%, Resurrection Survival 65%
Ch 15 7 maximum henchmen, loyalty base +15%, reaction adjustment +15%

Current XP: 0       XP until next level: 1,501

HP 5

AC 7

Languages Known: Common

Spells Memorized: Bless, Cure Light Wounds x2

Equipment: leather armor, vestments, holy symbol, quarterstaff, adventurer's kit, holy water vial

Goals: advance the faith and, if necessary, die a martyr.  Convert the godless wizards that he finds himself consorting with.

 

Friday Fiction: Time Out

Dead Orcs from Lord of the Rings

TIME OUT

Blood steamed as the bodies cooled. A pair of figures still stood - a Fighter and a Dwarf, covered in gore, mostly not theirs.

        “Hells.  That much noise is bound to bring trouble.  We need to get out of here!” grunted the Dwarf.

Wiping his sword clean on the nearest Orc, the Fighter said, “not until we gather the spoils,” he looked around, “and our dead.”

“We ain’t got time for gathering bodies, Fighter!”

Staring at the Dwarf, Fighter said, “you get to work, I’ll prep for recovery.”

Drawing a dagger to harvest Orc ears and belt pouches, Dwarf said, “what d’ya mean, prep for recovery? Look, we’re in a hurry, right? We’ll just take our friends’ heads with us in a sack.  That is all we need for Speak with Dead and Resurrection spells.  Lemme find you an Orc axe.”

“Like hell! We’re taking the bodies with us.”  Fighter finished clearing space in the middle of the corridor, then pulled a piece of black cloth from his pouch.  Lying it on the ground, he began to unfold the cloth until it was ten feet in diameter.  “Help me out, huh?” Fighter grunted as he rolled the Elf’s body into the circle, where it disappeared with a thud.

“No,” said Dwarf, “heads in a sack.  It cuts down on undead, too.”

“Beheading is too much work, you know,” Fighter said as he pulled several arrows out of Wizard, then tossed the Wizard down the hole, “besides, I owe Wizard.  We’ve been together through the Caves of Chaos, the Dungeon of Dread, the Forest of Fear, the Maze of Mystery, and the Pits of the Pod-People.  After all that, a decent burial and maybe a Raise Dead is the least I can do.”

Tossing ears and belt pouches into the open hole, Dwarf moved among the fallen, seeking out things of value. “So much alliteration.  Why haven’t you tried something with less of a ridiculous name? Maybe one using a kenning or just a proper noun?”

“That’s why we’re here, Dwarf, in the Endless Tunnels of Enlandin.  And see what happens when there is no alliteration? People die.”

“But at least the loot is good,” said Dwarf as he ringed the hole with a golden necklace.

Pausing with his search, Fighter said, “Hey, have you seen Thief in this mess?”

“Haven’t seen him since the ambush started,” Dwarf cut off another ear, “d’ya think he cut and run?”

Clearing the area around the Cleric, Fighter said, “maybe.  We brought him along to pick locks and disarm traps, not to be loyal.”

“Still,” grunted the Dwarf as he cut, “you’d think he’d have stuck around, if only for safety in numbers.”

“Cowards.  I can’t stand them,” said Fighter.

“Me neither,” said Dwarf, changing subjects, “didn’t I see you and Sister Cleric slip off early last night?”

Gently removing the spear that pinned Sister Cleric to the wall, Fighter said, “Damn, but Ogres are strong.  I thought that spear would never come out,” he lowered Sister Cleric’s body to the ground, “and yes, you did see us slip off, Dwarf.”

“Elf disappeared early from the party, too.”

“He did,” Fighter said as he dropped Sister Cleric into the hole, “and he joined us.”

Staring in disbelief, Dwarf laughed aloud, “Elf joined you two? Do I want to know?”

“No.  No, you don’t.”  Fighter visibly shuddered, “can we change the subject?”

“Sure,” chuckled Dwarf, “I’ve collected all the ears and loot, anyhow.”

Folding the portable hole back up, Fighter asked, “you ready to head back?”

Sheathing his dagger, Dwarf said, “all done.  Let’s go before the Rats, Ghouls, and Gelatinous Cubes head this way for a free meal.”

“Maybe we’ll find Thief on the way,” said Fighter as he picked up Wizard’s still-glowing staff.

“It might be best for him if we didn’t,” Dwarf said as he followed Fighter back the way they had come.

----

Another relic of the Master's Degree in English (Creative Writing) that I am one stalled thesis away from obtaining. That, and a translation test.

Anyhow, this is the first story in a sequence I wrote for one of the classes.

2022 Character Creation Challenge - Day 13

Although it's been some time since I opened up MegaMek (multiple regiments make each week of a contract LOOOONG), I still love Battletech and its imagined universe, especially the era of 3025 until right before the Clans arrived.  Clan Tech ruined it for me - just like how the Clans ruins all things.  

Dirty Clanners. (Tex will gladly tell you all about it - and it is worth the time).

Long before computer games did all the math for us, FASA brought us a tabletop wargame, and from there came rules to play as individual Mechwarriors, the pilots of the Battlemechs, themselves.  

Because all the cool tough guys smoked in the '80s.

I've always considered the individual Mechwarriors to be fluff in a game of big, stompy robots, but a pilot's Gunnery and Piloting skills can have an impact on the game, both then and now and even through Catalyst Games' Alpha Strike, a Battletech tabletop wargame.

As can be seen by the cover image, I am using my old softcover to generate today's PC, not the fancy new Catalyst Games (they own Battletech and other FASA games, now) hardback version.  Full disclosure, I am using the 2nd Edition rules, but I like the 1st Edition cover more.

Actor George Peppard, in his role as John Smith, of the A-Team.  Also what Art Heathco happens to look like in 3025.

The first step towards a Mechwarrior of my own is to assign priorities from 0-4. We go from there.

Arthur 'Art' Heathco, Captain, Heathco's Hammers

Race (0) - Human

Attributes (2) - 24

Build: 4

Reflexes: 6

Intuition (has half the value of number assigned): 6 (3)

Learn: 4

Charisma: 4

Characteristics

Athletic (18- (Build+Reflexes) =8

Physical (18- (Reflexes+Intuition) =9

Mental (Intuition+Learn) =7

Social (Intuition+Charisma) =

Advantages (1) - 1pt

Wealth - 5K C-Bills

Skills (4) - 24 (nothing higher than LRN (4))

Advanced University (Battlemech MOS, Leadership Training FOS) (18 points) 

Gunnery/'Mech 6 (+4) (experience)

Piloting/'Mech 5 (experience)

Leadership 2

Strategy 2

Tactics 3 (experience)

Survival 2 (+2)

Medtech 1

Small Arms 1 

Battlemech (3) - Heavy, Warhammer

Equipment - slug-throwing pistol, reloads, fixed-blade knife, grenades, survival gear

Assets: commander of 'mech company, personal wealth

Edge: 2

A proud graduate of Sanglamore on Skye, Arthur's education led to a commission in a Steiner border regiment.  After a decade of experience in raids and counter-raids, Art became an anomaly amongst the Steiner upper ranks - a competent tactician and strategist.  Being (rightfully) seen as a threat to more senior commanders, Art was sent to the Steiner-Marik border to ensure his competence stayed relevant, yet far away from the political sphere.  There, he participated in a disastrous campaign that brought him to his current situation.

Like many merc companies, Heathco's Hammers was formed from the remains of a larger unit.  In this case, a full combined arms regiment that saw heavy raiding and retaliatory raiding along the Steiner-Marik border.  When the dust finally settled, Art was the surviving senior officer, so gathered loyal troops to his private banner and went solo.  It has so far paid off, as the Steiner paymasters are happy to let Heathco's mercs do the necessary dirty work of eternal war.  Surprisingly, it is working out well for Captain Heathco and his company, Heathco's Hammers.

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A Mechwarrior isn't a Mechwarrior without a 'mech and a mercenary unit to serve with.  I gave in to temptation and used MegaMek to whip up the rest of Heathco's company and their 'mechs.  The unit's greatest flaw is the Fire Lance's dependence on LRMs.  The current (and cheapest) solution is to keep tons of reloads on hand, because it is still cheaper than buying an additional 'mech. The second greatest flaw is a lack of techs and parts to keep all the 'mechs in top condition.  Then again, that is a common condition for most mercenaries in 3025.

Command Lance

Warhammer - Captain Arthur 'Art' Heathco (E)

Awesome - Mechwarrior Joshua Nguyen (R)

Wolverine-M - Mechwarrior Patricia 'Trisha' Crabtree (V)

Wolverine-M - Mechwarrior Declan McCleod (R)

Fires Lance

Archer - Lieutenant Harley Longworth (V)

Thunderbolt - Mechwarrior Kirsten Aldridge (R)

Catapult - Mechwarrior Gerard 'Jerry' McKinley (R)

Phoenix Hawk - Mechwarrior Isabelle 'Belle' Drake (V)

Recon Lance

Phoenix Hawk - Lieutenant Erika Jansdottir (V)

Firestarter - Mechwarrior Dennis 'Denny' Harrington (R)

Griffin - Mechwarrior Jans 'Pickles' Claussen (E)

Wolverine-M - Mechwarrior Sebastian 'the bastard' Schwarzkopf (R)

Support Staff

Master Sergeant Hamish McElroy (E)

Sergeant Miles Pennison (V)

Sergeant Ichihime Yamaguchi (V)

Corporal Gunnar Bannerman (R)

Corporal Helmut Bannerman (R)

Corporal Ursula von Trapp (R)

Corporal Shirley Temple (R)

Rifle Platoon (for security)

Lieutenant Cora Majewski (V)

Sergeant First Class Angus MacKenzie (E)

Sergeant Edward 'Fast Eddie' Simpson (V)

Sergeant Ernesto Hernandez (R)

Sergeant Lars Ulrich (R)

27 enlisted troops who don't get names because I am lazy (R)

The company even has an unofficial theme song: a fine explanation of the mercenary Mechwarrior lifestyle. "I am a problem-solver, I just use some different tools," indeed.

Some excellent Battlemech line art of two of my favorite 'mechs - both of which can be found in the Hammer's ranks.

Awesome, by ShimmeringSword on DeviantArt

Catapult, by ShimmeringSword on DeviantArt

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Story time - a lifetime ago, I attended GenCon, sometime in the mid-90s, and played a small role in a massive walk-in, die, walk-out, all-day Battletech game simulating one of the Battles of Tukayyid (Tex tells the story better - so very, very much better than Wikipedia.  Language warning, I guess).

I walked in, was assigned to the Inner Sphere, and handed two 'mech sheets: an Awesome and a Catapult.  The Catapult fired one salvo before being destroyed by a star of Elementals.  The Awesome lasted one or two turns longer before suffering a similar fate.  I might have even killed dirty Clanners.

It doesn't matter - it was a glorious day of random gaming.  If I close my eyes, I can still see the paper maps spread over the tables, covered with washers that represented all the destroyed 'mechs.

In the end, the Clanners lost.

Because their entire Clan culture is dumb.

 

2022 Character Creation Challenge - Day 12

I realized a few days back that when I am generating PCs I want to play, this is a far more enjoyable process.  This might be self-explanatory for some, but it took me about a week to sort it out.

With that in mind, today is Tri-Tac Games' Bureau 13: Stalking the Night Fantastic.

A game with that title cries out to be played.

Skim-reading through it, I get X-Files, Kolchak, Supernatural, and Buffy vibes.  Which can only result in a good thing.

So let's get started!

Anna-Maria Hernandez, Level 1 

Strength - 4d6-5 = 12

Constitution - 4d6-4 = 10

Dexterity - 4d6-4 = 9

Agility - 4d6-4 = 10

Intelligence - 4d6-4 = 16

Wisdom - 4d6-4 = 5

Luck - 4d6 = 15

Charisma - 4d6-4 = 15

Psionics - 2d20-20 = -1 so no psionics

Throw - Str+Acc+Dex / 3 = 36/3 = 12ish

Accuracy - 4d6-4 = 15

Dodge - Str+Agi / 2 = 22/2 = 11

Magic Resistance - d6 converted to percentage = 1%

Hit Points - Str+(2x Con)+d10 = 32+d10= 33

Magic - only if you are psi

Supernatural Sensitivity - 4d6-4 = 9

Piety - 0-20, as chosen by the player.  15

Skills: 1 primary + 2 related skills + 15 for high intelligence + 5 for Bureau 13 training:  

Emergency Medical Care 8, Health Care 5, Lifesaving 3 

Swimming 4, Psychology 3, Sociology 2, Vehicle Repair (auto) 2, Small Boating 3, Human Biology 3, Computer Operation 1, Cryptology 2, Diplomacy 1, Language - Spanish 4, Language - French 3, Public Speaking 1, Religion (Catholicism) 2, Entertainer (Singing) 4, Entertainer (Comedy) 1

Supernatural (natural) 1, Supernatural (spirits & undead) 1, Evidence Dispersal 4, Combat Driving 1, Paranormal Psychology 1

Current XP: 0     XP for next level: 1001

HP 8

AC - armor has different scores depending on weapon type. Rugged civilian clothes and an awesome leather duster.

Equipment: clothes mentioned above, .357 revolver, 9mm Uzi, dark sunglasses, personal conviction that she is right, a sheathe knife, Gerber multitool.

Hernandez often blunders into trouble, but luckily talks herself out of it or barters her life-saving skills into safety. This regular escaping her 'just rewards' has only increased her faith in Catholicism (and her own self-confidence - is it the sin of pride?). As a youth, she sang in the church choir and honed her skills as a fast-talker.  She felt drawn to becoming an EMT and ambulance driver, and did so for several years until an emergency call brought Anna-Maria face-to-face with something that SHOULD NOT BE.  Surviving that encounter, Anna-Maria was recruited by Bureau 13 as a field agent.  She is anxious to begin her first 'real' mission to carry the fight against what must be the legions of Hell.

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That is a LOT of stats, with an odd 4d6-4 mechanic, tempered with some outside determinants, but with experience, scores can be slowly increased, and more skills gained.  Skimming through the rest of the book, there are several subsystems and other fiddly-looking bits.

I like the idea of such a game, but don't know how long I could handle the mechanics of it.  Maybe with time it would grow on me.

All that said, the introduction offers some outstanding Gamemaster advice:

Inconsiderate, ridiculous, or homicidal players should be removed from the game at the first opportunity, (preferably with a heavy blunt instrument).  There is no room in a role-playing game for fools who get other player's characters killed or spoil an adventure with acute stupidity.

The rest of the advice is solid, but the above bit is the best-written of the advice bullet statements.

 

2022 Character Creation Challenge - Day 11

It's time to branch out, but still not another T2K PC. Instead, I'm looking at GURPS Dungeon Fantasy.  After all, I enjoy the blog Dungeon Fantastic enough that I went and bought the boxed set and a few extra books, besides.

I may as well some use out of them. 

As the box says, Dungeon Fantasy is powered by GURPS, so there is much crossover with the basic GURPS game.  Unlike the utter freedom of a typical GURPS PC, Dungeon Fantasy has helpfully grouped various advantages, disadvantages, and such together so that folks coming over from DnD can still have a 'class' that isn't quite a class. In Dungeon Fantasy, though, they're called Professions.

Here's a review that explains all this far, far better than I can hope to do.

As the video review said, each Profession contains a menu of options.  My appetite tonight is for a Swashbuckler, ala' Cyrano de Bergerac.  Numbers in parentheses are how many character points it costs.

Le Petomane, Swashbuckler

Attributes:  ST 11 (10); DX 15 (100); IQ 10 (0); HT 13 (30).

Secondary Characteristics: Damage 1d-1/1d+1; BL 24lbs; HP 11 (0); Will 10 (0); Per 10 (0); FP 13 (0); Basic Speed 7.00 (0); Basic Move 7 (0).

Advantages: Combat Reflexes (15); Enhanced Parry 1 (weapon skill of choice) (5); Luck (15); Weapon Bond (any starting weapon) (1); and Weapon Master (weapon of choice) (20).  Plus 60 extra points from a large list: Rapier Wit (5), Every One's a Critical (15), Springing Attack (10), Great Void (10), ST+2 (10/level)

Disadvantages: -15 from this list: Outlaw's Code of Honor (-5), Never Refuse a Challenge to Combat (-10); -35 from this list: Compulsive Spending (-5), Impulsiveness (-10), Overconfidence (-5), Sense of Duty (adventuring companions) (-5), Gregarious (-10)

Skills: Choose one: Rapier-20 (20), Fast Draw (rapier)-17 (2); All of these: Acrobatics-15 (4), Brawling-16 (2), Carousing-13 (1), Jumping-15 (1), Savoir-Faire-11 (2), Stealth-14 (1), Thrown Weapon (knife)-16 (2), Wrestling-15 (2).  Then choose seven: Fast-Talk-9 (1), First Aid-10 (1), Gambling-9 (1), Hiking-12 (1), Intimidation-9 (1), Lasso-14 (1), Search-9 (1)

Equipment: rapier, several throwing knives, fancy clothing, magnificent feathered hat, loaded dice, normal dice, deck of marked cards, traveler's clothing, adventurer's pack, extra wineskins

That's everything mechanical.  To be honest, I would prefer someone else to guide me through a few combats to learn the GURPS way of doing things, but beyond that, PC creation was fairly simple.  Granted, if I took the time to read the various advantages/disadvantages instead of grabbing things that sound good (and/or fitting), it would have taken longer.  

All things considered, this PC lacks Cyrano's noble purpose, but I think captures his skill both with rapier and rapier wit.  If I played this PC for a game, I would channel Cyrano and the various Musketeers from the Disney version of the film - something gamers should watch on principle. 

Then again, knowing myself, I would lean heavily on puns, Monty Python references, and fart jokes, with the latter befitting Le Petomane's name.