Summer Games, part four

Earlier logs are here: one, two, three.

Summary: still in the dungeon, no one dies, 1 and part of another person join the adventurers, loot acquired and laughter made manifest.  Overall, I count this session as a win. 

First, though, some player-created art - after all, the character sheets do have a place to add a drawing, sigil, or coat of arms.

Truggledave or just plain Dave, drawn by his player.

Roro the Rash, drawn by her player

Not pictured are 

Varda, Elf 1

Allistar, Thief 1

Brother Frank, Cleric of Avrae 1

Dack, Boar-Thief 1

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We began the session in the entrance chamber, with Dack the boar eating a fallen zombie (because that IS what pigs do - eat).  As he munched, the party decided to begin moving south, from whence the zombies came.  Inspecting the first set of alcoves, they discovered that the back walls were stone slabs, which, after some effort, they managed to drop with a crash!

Sadly, this noise triggered the first of MANY hazard die checks that did not bring anything to investigate.

Entering the chamber, they found a pair of stone sarcophagi.  Upon investigation, they were revealed to have some form of effigies on the lids, but too faded and worn to determine exactly what might be entombed within.  It was also noted that both sarcophagi had a pair of round holes on each side - no doubt for poles or spearshafts to more easily raise and lower the lid.

With no such poles, the party improvised a plan involving rope, a boar, brute strength, and ignorance.  The end state was the first lid hit the floor with a crash, and everyone was surprised to see a human in full dungeon kit looking up at them, coughing a bit from the dust and blinking his eyes in the party's light.

A brief interrogation revealed that his name was Allistar the Thief and he had no idea how he ended up in the sarcophagus; when Varda realized it was her ex-husband in the sarcophagus, he claimed amnesia there, as well.

The lid crashing down should have brought trouble, but no encounter was rolled, just spoor of a future encounter, and with that, a buzzing sound was heard in the near distance.  This sound caused Dave to fire a flaming arrow down the hallway, which eventually landed maybe 200 feet further, and the buzzing ceased. 

Then with Varda to grudgingly vouch for him, Allistar joined the party in the looting of sarcophagi.  

As they approached the second sarcophagus, the room got noticeably colder.  Removing the second lid yielded a dead head, in that it was grey and dead, but had a glorious topknot of hair.  More importantly, it was gagged and a blue-white light beamed from its eyes, like a modern day flashlight.  Lifting it up and removing its gag, more of the same light came out its open mouth as it said, "thaaaannnnk yoouuuu."

Conversation with the talking head revealed its name to be Daffyd Byrns, who not only spoke in song lyrics (that only one player recognized) but also knew Allistar, calling them both brothers of the shadow.

True to form, Allistar claimed amnesia and the group prepared to cross the hall, but not before Allistar's latent desire for loot (muscle memory?) saw him leap into the sarcophagus that had held Daffyd, and begin searching it.  His efforts were rewarded with the observation that the wooden plank on the bottom lifted up, revealing a sealed box large enough to hold a book.  The box had no easy means of opening it, but Varda saw it was covered with magical markings and sigils that she couldn't read.

So the box ended up in a backpack for later investigation and the group ate and rested, before moving across the hall.  

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Crossing the hall to force the door, the party found themselves in a similar room, complete with another pair of sarcophagi and a die roll indicating no random encounter, just an indicator of one, so they heard that buzzing again.  At this point, Roro declared she was going to guard the corridor, so stepped out of the room and sat down.  As she had a sewing kit and extra sacks, she began to fashion a chest harness for Daffyd's head - the goal being to free up hands.

Picture of Dave wearing the Daffyd head harness, by Roro's player and Dave's player

With Roro in the corridor, the sarcophagus opening procedures were carried out, and as the lid crashed down, it kicked up so much dust that everyone in the room had to make (and most failed) saves or fall into a coughing fit.  When the dust cleared, it revealed a dessicated corpse lying there, but Daffyd's eyebeams revealed jewelry: a necklace, matching bracelets, and matching anklets.  This jewelry was divided up between Varda, Roro, and Dack the Boar-Thief. (DM note - does Daffyd's eyebeams have detection properties?  I don't yet know!)

The second sarcophagus featured an effigy of what appeared to be a woodsman.  In addition, buzzing could be heard from within, and Varda's infravision revealed a heat difference, so they braced for combat as they opened the lid.

Inside was a decomposing body wearing decaying hunter's clothing, everything tattered and stained except for the high soft boots laced up on his feet.  In addition, they could see the chest and stomach moving and heaving under the clothing, so the taller sorts circled the open sarcophagus and raised their blades to begin simultaneously striking the corpse and whatever was squirming inside.

With the first strikes, a swarm of cockroaches (the big nasty buggers like what we get here in Alabama) came flying up and out and around, sending the party into a mix of swatting and yelling and panicking.

They even dropped Daffyd's head in the sarcophagus, and roaches began crawling into his mouth.  Poor Daffyd.

Despite the noise, the encounter die disappointed me again, and nothing headed their way.  

Using fire and smoke (and Brother Frank's mace), the swarm was driven away.  With that, Allistar retrieved and donned the fancy boots, because how else will they learn what the boots do? 

They rested again before adjourning across the hall, because panicking is hard work.  Roro finished her harness and talked nice to Daffyd.

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This was the last room they entered before the session ended.  

They could smell brine and sea air once the door crashed down and saw that one of the effigies looked like a stereotypical pirate.  Excited comments were made about it likely containing treasure OR a portal, and they were correct on both counts.  The lid came off like all the others, and Dave shone the light of Daffyd into the seawater, thrilling to see the lights reflected off the shiny things below.  Reaching for a shiny, Dave felt a pull on his arm and failed his save vs spells, then fell in to the far deeper than it should be water.  Determined to find some treasure before he died, Dave grasped a goblet that would have fit in with the treasures of the Nuestra Senora de Atocha.  

He then began to drown.

Image from generic image search - it might even be AI, but I didn't use such an engine.

This goblet (chalice? using connotation, which word sounds more valuable?) should cover Dave's debts, and probably more besides!

Dave's companions thought quickly and opted to make use of the roped boar to maybe pull Dave out.  The rope was weighted and thrown in, and after a few failed attempts, Dave grasped the rope and was pulled out and to safety, Daffyd and the goblet along with him.

Soaking wet and panting, Dave related to the others that there was more treasure where the goblet had come from AND that he had noticed a large shadow moving around in the water, believing (correctly) that something was down there. DM note - at this point I opened the Monster Overhaul to page 277 in eager anticipation, but alas, alea iacta est and no one was eaten.

Without hesitation, Roro announced 'we're going fishing' and stripped down to her unmentionables.  She then donned the harness to hold Daffyd in place, so she could see.  The others tied a rope around her ankle, and with dagger and sack in hand, she was heaved into the water (she is too short to actually see over the top of these sarcophagi).  Roro felt the pull of the magic, but made her save, so would be able to move freely.

Daffyd was annoyed - he may not need to breathe, but that doesn't mean he likes being under water.  Soothing him with a head pat, she kicked towards the gleaming gold.  The encounter dice were again unkind to the DM, so she was able to scoop up a mix of treasures into the sack, then grab a suspiciously new-looking cutlass thrusting up out of the sand.  When Roro tugged the rope as they had prearranged, Dack the Boar-Thief began pulling her out of the water. (As I type this, I realize I missed a chance for the shadow-casting thing to make an appearance and get a jump scare - next time - the players know there is treasure still in the water).

Back in the crypt, the sack was emptied to see what she grabbed: silver trade bars and golden coins.  Roro claimed the cutlass for herself, even though it was almost as long as she is tall.  Investigation revealed the word Sierra engraved upon the blade.

From HERE, and for the low low cost of $189 and shipping, it can be yours!

As Roro toweled off, the group turned to the last sarcophagus and took up their stations.  Infravision showed no heat within, and the effigy on the lid was too defaced to tell what might be within.

The boar grunted, the lid crashed down, and the zombie within sat up and swiped at Brother Frank, dealing 1 point of damage and sending him into a tizzy.  The rest of the tall folk quickly did the zombie in, and Dave claimed the silver ring found upon its finger. 

What will next session hold?

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Today's session ended with lots of treasure and Roro being voted MVP (for making the harness for Daffyd).  Of course, they still need to escape to cash it all in.  By the time they find a way up, they may make bank on the exploring rooms xp my houserules make use of.

Or die trying.

Total loot:

Necklace (Varda)

Matching bracelets (Varda, Roro)

Matching anklets (Roro, Dack)

Book-sized box covered with magical symbols - I don't recall - Brother Frank, perhaps?

Fine leather hunters' boots (worn by Allistar)

Golden bejeweled goblet (Dave)

A cutlass named Sierra (Roro)

Sack containing 2 trade bars of silver and 289 gold pieces - I don't recall

Silver ring - Dave

If any of my players can remind me about who is carrying what, that would be grand.  As the group has no Detect Magic spell, they are relying on gut instinct to determine what, if anything, is magical.  I'll need to have this printed and ready to go by next session.  This, as well, for those items the party cannot easily determine on their own.  

Seriously, the blog d4 Caltrops is the gift that keeps on giving!  Go check it out and download/print what will work for your games - you will not be disappointed!

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I may have to change out my d6 for the encounters - with all the noise they are making and time they are taking, something should have wandered their way.  Luckily, they are close to keyed trouble, and will probably reach it - and outsmart me again - next session. 

Yes, I could have wanderers show up via DM fiat, but I'd rather not.

Encumbrance came up in discussion during the game, so within the next two sessions I will need to provide some encumbrance pages - I really like slot-based inventories, so probably one of them.  I have a few I have culled from the internet, so will make my choice closer to time.

I haven't worried about encumbrance so far because they are new PCs with minimal gear, but now as they gain treasure, it will begin to matter.  That said, the rate they go through rations may result in room after all.

Summer Games, part 3

Three sessions in a row!  2024 is turning into a great gaming year for me.  I even got to play some Magic this Wednesday.

Our cast:

Varda, the Elf

Dave, the Fighter

Roro, the Halfling

Dack, the Thief - currently a swine

Brother Frank, Cleric of Avrae

Land, Cleric of Ikea - rolled and run by Dack's player

Anyhow, we left off last week with Dack turned into a swine and everyone off to meet with Frankie Breakbone, the moneylender.

Frankie Breakbone, courtesy of MtG card Tavern Swindler by Pauline Voss

As might be expected, the conversation ended with our heroes having a month to find the money needed to pay her back.  About 1000gp between Dave, Dack, and Frank.

They also learned that Circe might turn Dack back into a human for a price.  Her price being the recovery of a large gem that she is fairly certain is on the third level of the dungeon - at least her divinations suggest as much.  

Circe the Witch.  Elvira, Mistress of the Dark is an alias.

When does she want it?  Before she sails back to her island in the Aegean Sea in a few months.  With that, she dismissed the party and her guards escorted them out.

Balking at Circe's demand, the party makes use of the I Know a Guy houserule, and Varda introduces the table to Cornelius de Bleu, a wizard who had enough of a crush on her to follow her to Skara Brae and set up shop.  It turns out, he also had an outrageous French accent, kind of a mix between Monty Python and Pepe LePew.  Note that about halfway through, the DM slipped into a bad Antonio Banderas impersonation.  Ah, wizards.

Cornelius was willing to provide an answer out of kindness to his crush.  His researches suggested that if a person were to walk backwards across the Bridge of Broken Souls (item 94 on this table).  Unfortunately, Cornelius wasn't certain where said bridge might actually be - perhaps in the dungeon. (DM Note - it would be funny if it had to be crossed to retrieve the gem Circe wants).

By this point, Dack's player had finished rolling up and equipping Land, Cleric of Ikea, so the party followed Dack the Swine's lead to the temple of Ikea, where it nosed into Land.  After introductions, we learned that Dack had been raised by the temple, but did not jive with their neutral ways.  Still, Land remembered and felt pity for the swine, so offered up that the temple of Ikea had access to the dungeon, and would provide it to its members.

As they prepared for the delve, they discussed the rumors they had heard over the past few days, and I, the DM had each of them roll on d30 rumor table.  They learned the following:

Ebeneezer Hardbottle is still willing to pay for maps.

Tristan's bride-to-be was kidnapped and her dowry stolen by bandits on the first level.

A flaming sword was lost to the orcs on the first level.

A treasure-laden funeral barge floats on a vast reservoir deep down on the tenth level (this was a popular topic, being rolled three times).

The Church of Starry Wisdom keeps a treasure vault on the second level.

Spinning a Wheel destroyed the gossip and their friends.

A pair of ogres named Smash and Grab enjoy ale and mules.

Some folks bathed in a pool and woke up ... different.

Rumors shared and bags packed, they headed down a dark spiral staircase, farther down than they initially thought possible (DM note - all the way to second level) where the air grew cold and still - like see-your-breath cold.

The stairs bottomed out into a 30'x30' chamber with an opening in the center of each wall.  Peering down two of them, they saw nothing but alcoves in the walls and darkness stretching out past their torch and candle light.  Without checking the third opening, Roro the Rash called out "Hello!" down a passage and was rewarded with a distant shuffling and moaning that grew closer and closer until their light revealed a pair of zombies shambling towards them!

The zombies were met with bowstring and steel, but alas! poor Land, Cleric of Ikea, fell to the blows of a zombie! This enraged Dack the pig, and looking in the rules, we found that Boars are listed, and as Dack is a male, we ran with it.

The final zombie fell beneath the furious feet of an enraged Dack-boar! 

And with that, we ended!

BX combat is fatal!

 

Summer Games - B/X at Work

May is wrapping up, and with it the frenetic energy of a graduation, multiple field trips, class parties, and championship soccer games.  What it heralds, though, is a few months without any evening responsibilities beyond normal chores.

Which means that I get to play this summer!

So I'll be running some work colleagues and their spouses through a B/X megadungeon.  

It's a new ruleset for them and a new/old location for me, as it starts in the city of Skara Brae. It is a simple premise - the good citizens of Skara Brae awoke one morning to find a stairwell descending into darkness right in the middle of the main market square.

In the three months since its appearance, many people have tried their luck exploring the place.  Of the ones that returned, sometimes they are fabulously wealthy, other times they are just happy to be alive.

The government of Skara Brae soon garrisoned the market around the stairs, charging a small fee to enter, and a cut of the treasure to those that exit.  In addition, the garrison is charged with ensuring nothing monstrous leaves the dungeon.

If only they knew...

Regardless, I enjoy running and playing in a megadungeon because it allows for exploration, faction play, puzzles (of all sorts), and the occasional fight.  Most importantly, it provides a means for lots of laughter.

As some of the players have been enjoying Delicious in Dungeon, they are familiar with the concept.

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To help set the tone, I made sure that a small pile of blank Death Certificates was visible to all players during PC creation (an idea I lifted from a company commander I once knew in the Army, who would keep a copy of AR 190-55 Procedures for Military Executions visible on his desk whenever he had to call in a soldier for disciplinary reasons.  He never executed anyone, but terrified lots of people).

Free from Stormlord Publishing, found at the link above

We used Dyson Logos' free BX character sheets and soon had a likely band of adventurers ready to go.

Let me introduce our heroes:

Dave the Fighter

Roro the Halfling

Dack the Thief 

Varda the Elf 

Brother Frank the Cleric (acolyte of Avrae, goddess of chance)

I prefer to run games with the PCs already knowing some of the others.  In this case, the thief and fighter owed money to the cleric's faith, the halfling had been fired from her job with the elf and knew the fighter from work, and the elf had been helping the thief steal money from her job, which is what got the elf fired.  My players - please correct me if I am wrong on any counts!

Normally, I have players roll on a rumor table, but mine (the linked one is for a different place) wasn't ready, so I just provided a few to get them started:

Lots of gold and magic has been brought up from below.

Not everyone returns from the dungeon.

Ebenezer Hardbottle will pay for maps of the dungeon.

There are whispers of additional entrances to the dungeon.

The dungeon runs deep and all sorts of strange creatures exist there.

Not all of the creatures want to (immediately) fight the surface-worlders (because I use reaction rolls).

Relationships established around a common theme of being in debt and needing money fast, our team found themselves at the top of the stairs talking to a Sergeant of the Guard, as his bored troops looked on.  There they learned that the government of Skara Brae charges a small fee to enter the dungeon - a paltry silver piece per person.  Each person paid and then registered their name and profession (unemployed) with Halaster, the day shift wage mage assigned to this duty.

Having paid and registered, the intrepid heroes make a quick marching order and head down the stairs, finding themselves in a large chamber featuring six doors (three in each wall), a large round pool, and a statue near the pool.  

Two doors immediately caught their interest - one that was spiked shut and had fresh-ish bloodstains on the floor in front of it and one on the opposite wall that had a large hole chewed through the bottom of it.

Roro and Dack moved to check out the door with the hole while the other three moved to check the pool.  Roro noted that she couldn't see the pool anyhow, due to the height of low wall around it.  

Limited light showed a dark room through the hole in the door, but not the full size of the room.  That being the case, Roro boldly stepped through, only to find herself face to face with a GIANT FREAKING SNAKE staring at her from across the room from a hole in another door.  Lifting her handaxe, she boldly charged it, slamming her axe down into its head!  The head collapsed, revealing it was just a shed snakeskin, and it was blocking further progress - all she could tell was that there was a corridor beyond the snake door.  Not about to try that alone, she headed back out to tell her companions.

Meanwhile, Dave and Varda first tested the water (cold and clear and not too deep) by dropping a sling stone into it.  That having no effect, they moved on to the statue and discovered that its outstretched hands might move and maybe trigger something.  Varda placed a sword in its hands and they were rewarded with the sound of stone grinding and water draining quickly as the bottom of the pool turned into a spiral staircase heading deep into darkness.  As the rush of water receded, laughter could be heard rising up from the depths, laughter that turned into sobbing.

Varda reclaimed her sword, and the stairs folded back up and, inexplicably, the pool began to refill.

Throughout all of this exploration, the DM using the Hazard System from Necropraxis failed to roll up any wandering encounters, just torches expiring.  So tragic.  

Our explorers were faced with a dilemma: what to do next.  So many options (six doors, stairs down, and they didn't even look behind the stairs that entered the room!) and so little time!  At first, they used a spear to reopen the stairs down, but as they couldn't see the bottom, they decided one of the normal-looking doors would be the better choice.  Not wanting to leave the stairs open behind them, Varda went to take her spear, but before doing so, spoke down the stairs "do not despair - we'll come back for you!"  All within earshot were shocked when her voice echoed back up the stairs, saying, "I'll be waiting for you!"

With that, the stairs ground shut and the nearest door cautiously approached.  

Dack stepped forward to check the door for traps, and finding none, pulled it open.  When asked where everyone was standing, players got real specific about not being in line of sight - I wonder why?

They found a corridor and cautiously moved down it, and at the midpoint, Dave noticed two things: a closed door at the far end of the corridor and his torch flame was guttering, as if a breeze was blowing.  Calling attention to this, the party quickly discerned a secret door to the north, but could not determine how to open it, so headed to the far door.

Listening closely, they heard nothing, so Dave forced it open.  The party paused as they saw a pair of pig-headed humanoids seated at a table playing chess.  Discussion taught the PCs several things: the humanoids were Orcs, that Varda could speak Orc, that the Orcs were annoyed but just wanted the intruders to leave so they could finish their game in peace, and that Orcs and call elves knife-ears.  Despite harsh words, the party left in a huff, with Varda slamming the door behind her - and no wandering monster showing up on the DM's encounter roll.

Retreating back to the secret door, the team were in a quandary until Varda the Elf asked the PCs to extinguish their torches so she could use her infravision.  This let her determine a likely method to open it, so they did.  As the wall pulled toward them, a cold blast of air hit them - like see-their-breath cold.

As they adjusted to the cold, they could see a body crumpled to the ground in the hidden corridor.  Dave checked for obvious traps, and finding none, approached the body.  Once there, he could tell it was frozen solid and quite dead.

He headed back to the somewhat warmer main passage and Dack offered to lasso the corpse so they could drag it to safety, where it could thaw and be looted.  One coiled rope and improvised grappling hook later, they had a frozen corpse with them in the hall.  Dack pulled him to the side to better determine how to loot it (DM note - pouring oil on it and setting it alight was suggested, but not attempted).

While Dack examined the corpse, Varda and Roro moved up to the point where the body had lain, and there discovered Elvish runes for cold and death upon the floor, blocking forward passage.  They could also see a large face carved into the stone of the far wall, with its cheeks puffed and mouth open as if it were blowing something.

A hasty plan was put forward and attempted - Varda would throw Roro across the runes to the flagstones beyond.  The attempt was badly fumbled, with Roro instead landing directly on the runes, the warmth of her body activating them.  A blast of cold roared down the passage, blasting over Roro and chilling Varda to the bone (she saved and so only took 4 damage; Roro took none as it past over her).  Realizing that they could army crawl over the runes, the PCs soon crossed over and found themselves at another door.

Brother Frank was volunteered to force the door, and after several tries (and two sore shoulders) was successful, tumbling into a small room holding two chests against the far wall.

Chests which Dave immediately attacked with his bow.  It not responding gave the Dave the courage to approach it, and after some fiddling about and dice rolls, open it, to reveal the warm reflection of coins in the torchlight!

Excited at the real loot, Dave was ready to do the same to the second chest, but as he moved it from the wall, he noted an acrid smell coming from it.  Dack came forward and determined that there was a trap on the chest, most likely triggered by opening it.  The group suspected gas of some sort (DM note - they weren't wrong), so began discussing how to safely open it.

Two plans were put forward - the first to open it in the pool, gambling that the gas couldn't disperse in the water and the second to gift it to the chess-playing Orcs and let them die to it.

The group slowly brought the chests into the hall and knocked on the Orc-door.  The orcs answered, and after a heated exchange with Varda, they took the chest and closed the door.  

At this point, the party decided to head to the surface with the chest of coins.

Our heroes had gotten the chest into the main room when finally the dice rolled an encounter - and on that note we closed for the evening on a dice-based cliffhanger.  Tune in next week to find out what has responded to the noise and how the PCs react!

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After about an hour getting settled, explaining rules, and creating our first PCs, the rest of the session took two hours.  Our current plan is to meet weekly for two hours (some of us have a bit of a drive) for the rest of the summer, and maybe beyond.

Which means weekly session logs for those that enjoy them!

My in-session time-keeping needs work, and I need to remember to incorporate smells better in my descriptions, instead of only doing so when asked.

For my players - if I forgot or misreported something, please tell me!

Buying Magic Items

Magic items are staples of fantasy fiction and roleplaying games.

After all, they boost the individual or group using them, they are fun in their own right, and they allow a DM to loredump without inflicting reading homework on the players.  

They are such a staple that many DMs include Magic Item Shoppes in their game worlds, and then spend hours stocking them, and then spend more hours determining how such a store does not get robbed/burgled/looted by transient PCs or NPCs.

There are several common recommendations.

From somewhere on the internet.  Not my work, though.

1. Such shops don't exist.  If that is the case, make sure your players know in session 0.  Various rulesets and player plans are item-based, and not being able to easily acquire such items is frustrating.

2. The shopkeeper is a retired high-level adventurer of sorts, using magical alarms, illusions, traps, extradimensional spaces, and other things to safeguard the product.  Probably extraplanar guard-things.

3. The shopkeeper is a retired low-level adventurer who has powerful friends (because regular folk cannot afford magic items).  Adventurers and world leaders call upon this person to keep them supplied.  They will come looking for the thieves, doubly so if the shopkeeper - their friend and source - was murdered in the process.

4. The shopkeeper pays protection to the local thieves' guild, who will assuredly come seeking to make an example of whomever made them lose face.  

5. It is a specialty store that only crafts items on commission, which is never an overnight affair.

6.  Some combination of 2-5.

7.  DM fiat.  The players automatically fail, regardless of what they do.  Don't do this.  This is terrible.

On top of all this is the need to determine an inventory.  If the store is Magical WalMart, it may have anything, and lots of it - then dice are used, and PCs end up with items that make the campaign ... difficult for the DM.  Alternatively, the DM painstakingly handpicks or even handcrafts the inventory, and is stuck describing everything multiple times to indifferent players.

All of which is a poor investment of DM time that makes me twitchy just thinking about.

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While magic item auctions are a possibility, they can be difficult to pull off at the table, unless you can score some guest players to run the NPC competition.  Then an auction can be awesome.  

My preferred method is to use a magic item broker or agent.  These are merchants that traffic in magic items, but do not keep their wares with them, instead procuring things as needed by wealthy customers.  Granted, such transactions are expensive and time-consuming, requiring a nonrefundable payment up front and the remainder upon delivery. 

These payments may not even be entirely in coin, but instead cost other items, goods, favors, or the like.  No doubt the contracts are signed under the watchful eye of the local deity of contracts and justice, who will (or its clergy will) ensure bad things happen to whichever party reneges on the deal.

Of course, whatever the customer wants may not be available.  Something similar may be found, or items can be commissioned, but these all take time.  Time measured in months, years, or even decades (depending on how crafting works in your game world).  I like this method because it allows PCs to have items they (mostly) want at a rate that doesn't suddenly break the table. 

Note this method means that items provided by such a broker or agent may not be exactly what the players/PCs want.  The item may have quirks or flaws, it might be a scimitar rather than a longsword, or it might be outright cursed. This is all part of the negotiations with the broker. Once a deal is struck, though, to quote what my children learned in preschool, you get what you get and you don't fuss a bit.  

Luckily, DnD even has such beings in place, at least to a degree.  The Arcane.

from the 2e Monstrous Manual

Or the Mercane, if your preferred ruleset is from a later edition.  This Deep Dive on the Mercane/Arcane is worth the time to skim read if you want extraplanar merchants that just appear as needed by PC request or DM plot.

A second species to consider as a broker is the Arcanaloth.  Granted, smart PCs should be wary of these denizens of the lower planes, because fiends historically do not have the best intentions for anything not themselves.  

A third species for a broker is the Rakshasa.  These lion-headed, backwards-handed shapeshifters are just as devious as Arcanaloths and only marginally more trustworthy.

For myself, though, I prefer brokers of standard species.  Given that my homebrew world is humanocentric, that means the main item brokers are/were human (with a few half-elves among them... and a shape-shifted dragon), with Grandfather Favarro and the rest of his family being my favorite examples from my campaign world.

Regardless of what species the broker is, these item brokers are terribly useful, both as procurers of wares and as patrons of adventurers.  After all, the magical items scattered across the lands and planes have to be recovered by someone, and who better to brave the dangers inherent in this than adventurers?

An item broker may not be all that potent, mechanics-wise, though will lean towards higher Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores and skills.  They may not be spellcasters at all, merely keeping one or more spellcasters on staff, or at least on retainer.

One thing for certain is that magic item brokers do not keep much - if any - inventory on hand.  The items they may have are for their use alone.  Any additional items lying about have been paid for and are awaiting pick up - stealing these items from the vault makes the thieves powerful enemies.

What the brokers do have on-hand are contacts: they know sages and bards to research specific items, they know mages and other casters to commission items from, and they know adventurers to go fetch the items from their last known locations/owners. 

Related to these contacts are the broker's customer base.  The sorts of people that do business with an item broker tend towards the powerful, politically and mechanically.  People robbing the broker make enemies of these customers, at least some of whom will come gunning for the thieves.

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Some players may want to skip all this and Wish for an item instead, which is completely doable.

Just decide during session 0 - and tell the players, not that they'll pay attention - that Wishes, including those from the Deck of Many Things or other items (and beings) - are inherently lazy and will not create something wholesale, but rather take something that already exists and bring it to the wisher.  

In the case of magic items, the former owner WILL want it back, but the DM doesn't have to even create said former owner until needed.  Unless the source of the Wish is fiendish, then perhaps the owner appears with the item.  This is extra amusing when said owner is a dragon.

Perhaps more amusing is when the Wish transports the PC to the item's location, with or without friends and companions.

Monkey pawing even shows up in Magic the Gathering.  Wishclaw Talisman.

This messing with wishes is often called monkey-pawing (from this short story which all gamers should be familiar with), and is definitely NOT for all tables, so be careful when doing this.  Or at least be up front about it in session 0. 

Monkey-pawing wishes and my session 0 both sound like other posts, so I will close here.

Background for my #Dungeon23 Megadungeon

Historians and bards speak of the great empire of Uraiawakiraia, a true meritocracy, and the wonders its inevitable collapse left behind.  Wonders that are envied and coveted to this day.  

A curious fact about this meritocracy is how the ruling class - the most meritorious of them all - demonstrated and tested their merit through constructing clever gauntlets and proving grounds, filling them with the finest traps, treasures, and creatures that money could buy and magic conceive, then challenging one another (but mostly aspiring sorts) to survive them.

These gauntlets and proving grounds typically ran no more than two or three levels deep, and many still exist on ancient baronial lands, mostly repurposed now that their creators are long gone - a few have become (or were purpose-built) tombs for their creators.  

The greatest of these gauntlets is Askorun - the Challenge.   Constructed during the reign of His Eminence Jumbe, Seventeenth Emperor of Uraiawakiraia.  At his command Mount Gora was hollowed out and rebuilt; potent artifacts of great beauty, wealth, and magical power were crafted; terrible monsters were captured and bred and created to lair within; entire tribes of humanoids were enslaved and forced to populate the dark halls; and the greatest artificers, trapmakers, poisoners, wordsmiths, artisans, dreamweavers,  ghostcallers, demonbinders, spellshapers, beastwranglers, fleshcrafters, and more contributed to the stocking of Askorun, technically by Imperial decree, but also through pride of purpose, because only the best would be appropriate for the Imperial Gauntlet.

Taking over 50 years to construct, Askorun was and still is the pinnacle of the gauntlet-builders' craft.  The parade of the final stocking is said to have stretched over 10 miles, beginning at the docks of the capital city, then winding through the streets past the palace and into the foothills where the massive doors stood open and waiting.  

Songs and tales claim it took more than a year to actually place the final guardians and treasures.  One thing the tales agree on is that final entry to Askorun was His Eminence Jumbe, himself, carrying the Crown and the Ring, proclaiming that whosoever should recover both items would inherit the Simhisana Throne and the Empire of Uraiawakiraia.  The doors sealed themselves behind Jumbe and refused to open, despite the determined efforts of citizens of the Empire and freebooters alike.

But that was centuries ago.

Today, the port city of Skara Brae is built on the bones of the Imperial Capital, and the sewers and hidden passages beneath the city are the streets and buried buildings of the Capital and other cities that rose and fell in this location over the centuries.

Askorun still remains, unconquered, and the Imperial Throne unclaimed, and perhaps lost. The ancient magics of the Empire linger still, sealing the great doors for 49 out of every 50 years, then remaining open for precisely a year before closing for another generation.  

This year is a year of opening.  A temporary city made of tents, wagons, and a few more permanent structures has sprung up around the entrance.  A carnival-like atmosphere permeates this place, and almost everything a delver could want or need can be found here - for a price. What cannot be found here can be found in Skara Brae proper.

Will your adventurers find glory and treasure, or only blood and death?

Erol Otus, Dungeon Stairs

-----

Over the course of a year, inhabitants of the tent city change, and this post from Iron & Ink is a grand way to go about showing this. In addition to lantern-bearers, there are all sorts of would-be camp followers to be hired from among the riff-raff living among and within the tents.  Like these followers, from Coins and Scrolls, or mercenaries from Meatshields.

That said, you might also encounter less savory sorts, such as these from Elfmaids & Octopi.  In truth, lots of ideas can be mined from the Murderhobo posts at Elfmaids & Octopi, as well as his free pdf from here (Murder Hobo Manual, but they're all inspirational, with Shadel Port, Goblin Mine Zone, and Long Stairs Compilation are worth a quick skim for most #Dungeon23 participants, because you can find inspiration anywhere).

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With an intro like this, I am either setting myself up for success or failure.  Only time will tell.  As might be noticed, I am terrible with names, so had some fun with Google Translate.

Johnny Law and Skara Brae

Every civilized place has laws that hold it together.  Sometimes it is through custom, tradition, or taboo, rather than legislation (or fiat), but these rules exist, and woe be to whomever violates them.  

Even today, ignorance of the law is not a valid defense.  In DnD-land, punishments might be quite extreme.

Now, it is possible to make a list of common laws that most places - both real and imagined - create: no murder, no rape, no arson, etc.  I would argue that these laws should exist, but don't need catalogued, because they can be easily improvised.  It's the stuff that fantasy gaming brings with it that need specific laws called out.

Spell-casting.  Monsters.  Magic items.  Non-human races (presuming your game is humanocentric - I know mine is).  Competing and allied religions that can do things.  Violence as a solution.  THESE are the things that differentiate fantasy cities from real world cities.  Frankly, most players should suspect such things, and some will actively go looking for them.

So it becomes a question of what are the important laws that will catch players' attention, and perhaps turn into a session or three getting around or dealing with the repercussions of?

-----

The Code of Hammurabi, inscribed on a 7.5 foot tall basalt stele, a fine way to display laws to the (il)literate populace, presuming they know the specific language.

Many folks gaming today presume that laws and courts and such seen today are common in their fantasy games.  Horsefeathers! I'd think kangaroo courts, mob justice, and presumed guilty until proven innocent would be more likely.

Cribbing laws and rules and ideas from history is a time-honored DMing tradition, and the Code of Hammurabi is definitely worth looting. Another example that plays nice with the typical DnD games set in pseudo-Europe, is wergild, because it deters murder-hoboes by hitting them in the pocketbook.  The Yassa of Ghengis Khan or the Edicts of Ashoka provide additional models to make use of.

Consulting the power of the internet is an option.  This thread from enworld is worth looting, and the subreddit r/DMAcademy has a great discussion on Laws of the Fantasy Lands, to include many laws and questions to consider adding to your world.  

The blog Sword of Mass Destruction makes some solid points about law enforcement in a fantasy world, adds questions worth asking yourself, and this quote:

Basically, from a gameplay perspective I think good law punishment would be something that attacks the character sheet. Remove a limb. Limit their health. Cripple their inventory. Ban them from buying at shops in that city ever again. Cut out their tongue. Cripple their ability to play the game. 

Interestingly, SMD's observation ties in well with several of Hammurabi's punishments - lots of death and injury for those causing it.

Some real-world taboos will also exist, but have their own DnD twist, courtesy of Blog of Holding.  Speaking of which, if a town is ruled by some sort of theocracy, then religious taboos become law.  Taboos like these from d4 Caltrops.

It's the laws and social mores that PCs are bound to run afoul of that are worth writing down and watching for.  Especially if any of these suggestions from the Dungeon Dozen are followed: Who's the Law in this Town?

All of this is because, as question 12 on this excellent campaign questions list from Jeff's Gameblog points out, players may ask where there are 'notable hassles from Johnny Law.'

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Examples of such rules and laws can be found in several gaming products.  The best might be Atlas Games' Crime and Punishment.

My favorite citybook is Hollowfaust, a city ruled by Necromancers.  As might be imagined, there are interesting laws regarding funeral rites (and rights) in that city. 

Another option to look at is Irilian, from early White Dwarf magazines, but compiled for easy use by Kellri. Note that readers wanting to publish their personal fantasy city could use this document as a template.

Another example comes from Runequest's Pavis/The Big Rubble, which contains this short list of rules that PCs are likely to run afoul of.  Especially items 2, 4, and 5.

If you have the resources to acquire them, here is a partial list of city books to loot for ideas.

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Skara Brae is no different than many other fantasy campaign cities, and it has its share of laws and common courtesies that players won't consider, which means neither will the PCs, which means several episodes across sessions as these laws and customs are encountered.

Some Laws (notable hassles from Johnny Law)

Humans, Dwarves, Halflings, Gnomes, and Elves can walk the streets of Skara Brae freely.  All other races must have a keeper; Goblinoids must be collared, chained, and with owner in the city - those found loose will be killed.

Tieflings, warlocks, and sorcerers are to be executed with extreme prejudice.  Those harboring or defending such beings are considered tainted and suitable for execution as well.

Mages must be licensed by the Mages' Guild; unlicensed casting results in fines, servitude, death, and worse.  Such licenses make great real life props.

If the general call is sounded, all beings within the city are expected to help defend the city.

The colors Red and Purple are reserved for specific people; punished by loss of colored clothing and fines.

Adventuring companies must be registered; those found adventuring without license and registration will be fined and lose recovered items, if not more.  Such registrations make great real life props.

Loosing monsters or bringing other notable trouble down on the city will see surviving troublemakers heavily fined, cursed, and exiled.  

Armor and weapons of war are not allowed to be worn/carried on the city streets unless headed home or out of the city.  Special licenses can be had for a suitable donation.  

Violence against members of the Skara Brae government or those in employ of the Skara Brae City Council will be met with crucifixion.

No one can kill a cat.

Some Customs and Traditions (and Superstitions)

Religious parades have the right of way.

If someone asks for a drink, give it to them; refusing it is an insult.

If you are offered food or drink, consume it; refusing it is an insult.  

Betting on anything is commonplace; refusing to bet is the mark of a social fool.

Cats have a place of honor at all tables.  

-----

Several implications can be seen in these laws and customs.

These laws imply a Mages' Guild of some sort, and reasons why such laws and customs exist, as well as a place for public crucifixtions.  In addition, a bureaucracy capable of taxes, registrations, and the like exists, and a constabulary capable of enforcing the law.

Note that the stuff about cats comes directly from the Lovecraft story, The Cats of Ulthar. I imagine that Wemics, Tabaxi, and other cat people would confuse the hell out of the local law.

-----

Of course, breaking these rules has consequences:

Fines.  Weregild.  Ostracism or Shunning. Exile.  Public Shaming.  Indentured servitude.  Slavery.  Branding.  Maiming. Tongue Cut Out. Blinding.  Crucifixion. Gallows. Stocks.  Imprisonment.  Oubliette.  Excommunication from one or several faiths (maybe this means that beneficial spells from clerics of those faiths no longer work on the Excommunicated being), Death (probably in a cruel and public fashion).  If specific ideas of punishment are needed, just browse history - humanity has quite an ability to be terrible to one another.  Just ask Giles Corey.

The Massachusetts Historical Society has a gruesome description of what happened next.

Giles was asked to strip naked and lay down, face-up, on the ground. A wooden board was then placed on top of him, and on top of the board, one by one, Sheriff George Corwin placed large rocks. After two days of this torture, through which Giles had remained silent, never crying out, he was asked to plead. Giles did not want his property to be taken, so he never plead either way. On the third day 19 September 1692 he died from being pressed to death.

His last words were, “more weight.” Corey’s death by pressing ultimately helped change the way the Salem Witch Trials were viewed by locals.

'More weight' is how a classy gent tells a town to go fuck itself.  

Exile is worse than it sounds in a points of light campaign world, which Skara Brae is.  Those not able to survive to the next city or other point of light tend to die horribly.  Note that being exiled from a place typically carries with it an 'if seen in this area again, people can make you dead, no questions asked.'  

In addition to traditional means of punishment, DnD allows the government to use magic, as well.  I suspect that there is a controlled market for drugs/potions that temporarily reduce stats to ensure that saves are failed and spells take effect.  (I also expect such potions to command top dollar on the black market).

Feeblemind.  Enfeeblement.  Geas,  Curse (so much more potential than the basic spell).  Polymorph.  Petrify.  Shrink.   Imprisonment.  Exile - but to another plane!  

Being cast into the Astral Plane or through a portal to an untamed land might be an extreme punishment, but wow, does it send a message to the populace while setting the PCs up for a new adventure! 

Given that there are PCs on the receiving end of these spells, I am leaning towards Geas and various Curses to keep PCs active and players engaged - something that instant death somewhat detracts from.  Note that in 5e, both Geas and Curse seem far weaker than I recall, so I'll use proper a Geas and proper Curses that actually matter at the table.

And by proper Geas and Curse, I mean, cannot be removed with simple Remove Curse spells or other use of the character sheet.

-----

Some bonus curses to consider.

Language and Literacy in Skara Brae

Despite Skara Brae being a proper city, and a port city at that, it lacks several things that are regularly seen in today's cities.  Not fast food (Pompeii had it) or public transportation (taxi equivalents exist), but education.  Specifically public education.  

This means that while most folks in Skara Brae (and its environs) might speak several languages fluently, they cannot read or write them.  

The same goes for PCs.  

Most PCs start off unable to read, with exceptions being Wizards, Clerics, Paladins, characters with Noble backgrounds, Elves, and Dwarves.  Note that this doesn't mean such characters are literate in all languages they speak, just at least one.

from the Voynich Manuscript 

PCs can learn how to read various languages, with an investment of time and money - presuming a willing instructor can be found.  This can be an excellent downtime activity for the brutal winter months.

In addition, people can be hired to read and write for PCs - sages, scribes, some bards - but then you have the issue best illustrated in Romeo and Juliet, where the wrong people learn things by the reading of an item.

Books themselves are handwritten, laboriously copied, and beautifully illuminated, including spellbooks.  Especially spellbooks. 

After all, knowledge is power.

from the Codex Seraphinianus

This design choice means that having someone in the party that can read a specific language (or cop out with the spell Comprehend Languages) is going to either be utterly ignorable in an adventure or of the utmost importance.  It's my job as DM to make literacy a worthwhile choice for players to make.

For the greater population, pictures and spoken words are just fine.  Signs throughout Skara Brae might have the name of a place printed on it, but will assuredly have a picture indicating what they do or the name of the location.  

If nothing else, this will give me a chance to flex my ability to draw.

A Trio of Wizards

Magic the Gathering really is a fine game.  Even if you don't play it, most folks can appreciate and be inspired by the artwork on many cards (that said, some cards are awful).  Today I am creating some of Skara Brae's wizards.

I am using artwork first (thanks, Scryfall!), and building from there, using AD&D because that is the simplest for me - no additional math from ASI or feats or subclasses. Just 4d6 drop the lowest and, because it is new to me, I'll be using the Axian Library (NNNN) tables to determine the adventuring history of each wizard.  Once each wizard's brief history is written up, you'll find things like (19a) or (19b) next to certain events, indicating which number from which table I used.  That said, it seems that the first table is missing 19 altogether.

And then, of course, base magic items from Appendix C in the DMG... or maybe Appendix P, if that provides more interesting results.  There might even be a few custom items when I am done, depending on art and where the NNNN backgrounds take me. 

Whether or not those custom items are 100% usable in your game or merely provide the germ of an idea is entirely uncertain.

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Arcane Savant, by Chris Rallis, Magic the Gathering

Angus found his way into Skara Brae perhaps a decade ago, joining the upper social classes within a year of his building a manor.   He is debonair and quietly arrogant, believing firmly in a ruling class, especially one made up of magic-users such as himself.  Dealings with him are always coldly polite but one-sided in his favor.  If he decides that you are his enemy, he will single-mindedly pursue your destruction.

While Angus has had several adventures, his greatest adventure involves the Green Dragon Khloros; he tricked the Dragon (16a) out of a Ring of Wishes (20b) by capitalizing on the Dragon's weakness (19b).  While he may brag about defeating the Dragon, he keeps quiet about the ring.  He has used two of its three wishes already, one to elevate him in wealth (and subsequently social status), and the second to help create his Walking Stick.  He wears the ring on a chain around his neck, and has several wishes already worded and written out, but will only use it in extremis.

A notable, but lesser adventure includes the summer spent clearing killer bee hives, leaving him with magical honey and several flasks of oil (5a).  This summer was where he met Astrid Dreamweaver, working with her against the bees - and the dragon.

Oddly enough, Angus's closest allies in town are the clergy of Lunare (18a) - the goddess of the Moon.  Angus assisted them in driving off a pack of lycanthropes (27b), winning their gratitude and several potions of healing and flasks of holy water in the process (13a).  Now, he and they have a tidy business arrangement and alliance.

The lycanthropes he helped put down were summoned by the adventurer Syzgzy Darkmoon (17a), who now considers Angus her enemy in all things.  What she doesn't realize is that Angus was infected with lycanthropy during the fighting (27b) but has so far staved off the worst of the effects, keeping the changes cosmetic.  Angus suspects that Syzgzy Darkmoon is involved but cannot prove it - he just watches and gathers information.

Lord Angus knows that there is a permanent cure for lycanthropy (among other great treasures) from a map fragment he owns (20a), but he does not have enough to determine location or potential guardians.  He will pay well (and kill) for the location.  

He is debating using his Contact Other Plane spell to learn the location of the treasure, or at least to learn who knows it, but so far, the risk of lies and insanity hold him back.  Angus will not be amused to learn that Astrid Dreamspeaker knows the location.

Lord Angus Flamehand

LE Human MU9 

S10 D12 C11 I17 W15 Ch15

Ring of Spell Storing (Minor Globe of Invisibility, Protection from Normal Missiles), Scroll Protection from Magic, Scroll 1x level 5 (Teleport), Scroll 2x level 3 (Haste, Slow), Walking Stick*

Spells Known (* is typically memorized)

1st - Burning Hands, Charm Person*, Detect Magic*, Hold Portal, Light, Magic Missile*, Protection from Evil, Read Magic, Shield*, Unseen Servant

2nd - ESP*, Knock, Mirror Image*, Stinking Cloud*, Wizard Lock

3rd - Dispel Magic, Hold Person*, Lightning Bolt*, Protection from Normal Missiles, Suggestion*

4th - Confusion*, Dimension Door, Fear*, Minor Globe of Invulnerability

5th - Contact Other Plane, Wall of Stone*

New Magic Items:

Walking Stick - Dimension Door, Dispel Magic, Hold Portal, Knock, Light, Unseen Servant; functions as a magic weapon when it comes to target resistance. 

-----

Keeper of the Mind, by Matthew Wilson, Magic the Gathering

Astrid Dreamspeaker loves gaudy jewelry almost as much as she loves to regale young magelings with stories of her youthful adventures. Her favorite stories involve her adventures in a haunted library (11a), exploring the catacombs near Skara Brae (10a) at the behest of Brother Maynard (26b), and the summer she and her companions spent clearing out killer bees (12b), although she will not mention her now-immunity to killer bee poison unless directly asked (she was stung often).  

She also leaves out that while in the catacombs, Astrid found the Skull of Setag Lib (10a) and also fell under a divine curse (5b), so now cannot lie and must always tell the truth - but doesn't have to tell all the truth.  For the right price, Astrid uses the Skull to supplement her income - people bring her fresh heads and a list of memories, and she accepts the coin and asks no questions.  Normally, though, she earns her keep through accurate divinations and other spells-for-hire.

One potent secret Astrid keeps is that the Cleric Brother Maynard entrusted her to protect and make good use of Occam's Talisman of Absolute Certainty (26b).  This is because the relic can only be used by those that do not speak falsehoods.  Because of this, she does not seek to have her curse removed.  That said, she is terrified to use the Talisman because of what it might do.  Astrid keeps the relic in its reliquary and has the reliquary secured behind magic and mundane defenses.

Over the course of her adventures and researches, Astrid has learned two important facts: the weakness of the Green Dragon Khloros (19b), and the location of a great treasure (21a).  What she doesn't know is that this is the same treasure that Angus is seeking.  Which is cosmically ironic, as she was with Angus when he bearded Khloros in its lair, which is how she knows its weakness.

If asked, she knows Lord Angus, because they shared the bees and dragon adventure.

Astrid Dreamspeaker

LN Human MU7

S9 D15 C12 I16 W12 Ch12

Brooch of Shielding, Ring of Protection +3, Scroll 2x level 4 (Charm Monster, Monster Summoning II), Scroll 1x level 6 (Reincarnation), Ring of Mammal Control, bonus scrolls (Guards and Wards, Monster Summoning IV, Reverse Gravity, Clone, Mass Charm, Gate, Imprisonment), Skull of Setag Lib*, Occam's Talisman of Absolute Certainty*

Spells Known (* is typically memorized):

1st - Burning Hands*, Dancing Lights*, Detect Magic, Friends*, Light, Magic Missile, Mending, Read Magic, Sleep*, Unseen Servant, 

2nd - Continual Light, Darkness 15' Radius*, Detect Evil, ESP*, Invisibility*, Locate Object, Magic Mouth

3rd - Clairvoyance*, Dispel Magic, Fireball, Phantasmal Force, Suggestion*, 

4th - Fear*, Remove Curse, Wizard Eye

New Magic Items:

Skull of Setag Lib

This is the skull of a large humanoid, with the top removed and the cavity lined with silver and the whole cavity lined with runes.  When a being's brains and eyes are mushed into a (foul-smelling) paste in the cavity, and the correct word is spoken (sedilsweiv), beams of light stream from the eye sockets of the skull, displaying a few memories in the air or on the nearest wall.  

A powerful enough wizard can control which memories are seen, while a weak wizard gets random memories (still useful, perhaps).  Making a mush from a potent wizard or otherworldly being is dangerous, as this can result in a ghost or wraith appearing (depending on alignment of organ donor) if the using wizard fails a save. 

Using the Skull of Setag Lib is exhausting, and when done, the user must rest for at least 8 hours.

Should someone be foolish enough to drink from the skull (and PCs are foolish enough), results vary depending on what is drunk: 

    Brain Mush - no save possession by whatever the brain mush is made from.  PLUS you need a save just to choke it down.  PCs are sick bastards, sometimes.

    Water - no matter the source, water from this skull turns brackish and tastes awful.  Spit it out.

    Wine or other alcohol - nightmare-filled sleep as traumatic memories play out in drinker's dreams; wakes exhausted (exhaustion levels for you 5e players) and is at disadvantage at everything the next day.  Cannot memorize daily spells, either.

    A potion - maximum effects and the drinker's eyes now glow brightly, save or the beams are forced onto a nearby wall, displaying only the most damaging, shameful, and/or embarrassing of memories.  But hey, max potion effect!

Pouring a mixture of holy water and vinegar into the skull cavity destroys the skull with a thunderous CRACK! as it blackens and crumbles.

(Holy Relic) Occam's Talisman of Absolute Certainty

The Talisman of Absolute Certainty is kept in its own reliquary, itself warded with a variety of protection spells.  Crafted for use in the never-ending battle between Law and Chaos, the Talisman is fine straight razor, with the word Occam etched along the blade. It can only be safely held and wielded by a Lawful human that does not speak falsehoods (although the reliquary allows the Talisman to be carried by those less-than-honest folks).

When boldly presenting the Talisman of Absolute Certainty, a Lawful wielder may command it to do the following:

    Rolls advantage on anything against Chaos

    Saves at +4 vs anything caused by Chaos

    Holy Word, but against Chaos

    Daylight, as per spell

    Dispel Illusion, as per spell

    Dispel Chaos, as per spell

    Protection from Chaos, as per spell

    Summon Deva (1-3 astral deva, 4-5 monadic deva, 6 movanic deva)

Of course, there are drawbacks to such a potent artifact of law.  Chief among them is that Chaos knows when and where it is used, as its use doubles as a beacon to both sides.  Using any of its powers brings chaos beasts and demons to its last location within 24 hours; demons charged with destroying or at least spiriting the Talisman away.  If they cannot find the Talisman, they lay waste to the surrounding people and area before departing.  Luckily, this draws forces of Law into the fray and then battle is joined, often to the detriment of all mortals in the area.

The other major drawback is that use of the Talisman ages humans 1d6 years per usage; this may not seem much to Elves and other long-lived beings, but as only humans can use the Talisman, it is an item of extreme sacrifice and need.

-----

Malevolent Hermit, by Daarken, Magic the Gathering

People that encounter Waldeinsamkeit in the wilderness believe him to be a druid of some sort, and Waldeinsamkeit does nothing to disabuse them of those ideas.  If anything, he encourages the belief through his own spells and allies.  When Waldeinsamkeit is mentioned to the actual druids in the area, they merely roll their eyes and change the subject.

Waldeinsamkeit comes across as a perpetually annoyed, cantankerous, grumpy old man - of the 'get off my lawn' sort.  Once past his grumpiness, however, people find a decent enough sort who can actually cook a mean stew and play a meaner game of chess.

If Waldeinsamkeit has any kind of luck, it is bad luck, or so he thinks.  As a youth, he adventured with a Cleric and others, venturing into a series of catacombs where he contracted mummy rot (but survived with reduced Charisma) (12a), gaining a Scarab of Protection for his troubles. In addition to stopping the rot, the grateful temple that sent them into the catacombs gave him several healing potions and vials of holy water as a reward (13a).

Later in his adventures, Waldeinsamkeit tampered with an enchanted hourglass in a wizard's tower and became unable to sleep. In addition to inability to sleep, natural healing is ten times slower and overall, his Wisdom decreased; a bonus is that Waldeinsamkeit is now immune to sleep spells and effects (16b). That reduced Wisdom is what led him to later eat a cockatrice egg (scrambled, with salt, pepper, garlic, and butter - he fondly recalls that meal), which grants him immunity to petrification by somewhat calcifying his bones, reducing his Dexterity (13b).

Most recently, Waldeinsamkeit has aggravated a powerful Medusa (16a), who is doubly aggravated at her inability to petrify him.  She actively plots to add him to her statuary - and claim his magic items for her own.

Despite the unfortunate experiences that pushed him into becoming a hermit, Waldeinsamkeit has more friends than he realizes.  During his years in the forest, he has helped and befriended both a Dryad (15a) and a band of Sprites (9b), and while the sprites regularly play tricks on Waldeinsamkeit, they will defend him ferociously because he is such a good sport about it all.  In addition, from his years alone in the forest, Waldensamkeit has learned enough to qualify as a local sage regarding his forest.

Waldensamkeit

CN Human MU7

S10 D8 C12 I16 W12 Ch10

Staff of Striking, Cloak of Elvenkind, Scroll 2 x level 3 (Dispel Magic, Protection from Evil 10'), Scroll 1 x level 6 (Disintegrate), Potion Human Control, Potion Levitation; Signet Ring of Sprite Friendship (+3 to reactions with Sprites and fey), Scarab of Protection

Spells Known (* is typically memorized):

1st - Affect Normal Fires*, Dancing Lights*, Detect Magic, Enlarge, Magic Missile*, Read Magic, Shield, Spider Climb*

2nd - Audible Glamour*, Detect Invisibility*, Levitate, Strength, Web*

3rd - Dispel Magic*, Lightning Bolt, Monster Summoning I*, Water Breathing

4th - Hallucinatory Terrain, Fear, Plant Growth, Polymorph Self*

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Wow! Those backgrounds from NNNN kind of steered themselves into workable relationships. I also like how the tables reference other tables in the rest of the Axian Library.  That said, there were a handful of number errors on the two tables, both out of order and in one case, missing entirely.

Truth be told, I look forward to more of these write ups (perhaps involving the background people these backgrounds suggest) in the future.  It was just fun.

Thank you, Guiseppe for writing them!